Aging out youth in Virginia are in trouble. Here’s what we can do.
I first heard the term “aging out” six years ago inside an orphanage in Ethiopia.
I was talking with a young man at the orphanage who was 18. I asked him what his goals were for the future, and he told me that he didn’t have any because he was about to age out.
A week later, talking to a group of 18 year old’s from that same orphanage, I learned what aging out means.
That at 18, whether they were ready or not, these young men would be sent out of the orphanage with nothing. Nowhere to live, no job, minimal education and no support system. Most would end up homeless and many would get pulled into a path involving violence, gangs, drugs and alcohol. I was incensed and heartbroken and couldn’t believe that the system allowed this to happen. Then, I found out that the same thing happens right here in the U.S., right in my own backyard.
Every year, 21,000 youth age out of foster care in the U.S. Just like in Ethiopia, these youth are unprepared for life and most struggle because they do not have the support system that is necessary for all of us to reach our God-given potential. They don’t have someone to call when their car breaks down, or who checks up on them after a bad day. They don’t have anyone in the audience when they walk across the stage at graduation.
The results are abysmal and overwhelming.
50% will experience homelessness,
50% will deal with addiction and substance abuse,
43% will be unemployed as young adults,
87% of the young men will end up in prison, and
71% of the young women will become pregnant by age 21 with half of them having their children placed in foster care.
But there is hope.
Every kid is one choice away from being a statistic and one caring adult away from being a success.
Josh Shipp, a former foster youth, says that “Every kid is one choice away from being a statistic and one caring adult away from being a success.”
Connection is the difference.
Strong, healthy, loving relationships are the key to healing, to resiliency and to success. Proverbs 18:24 states “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Relationship was God’s design from the beginning.
This is the basis for Don’t Go Alone. Through this program, Project Belong will connect young adults who are looking for a stable, caring relationship to mentor families who are willing and able to provide one.
Don’t Go Alone was created through Pam Parrish and Connection Homes out of Georgia. Through her personal story of adopting seven children, four of whom were 18, Pam realized that we never outgrow the need for family. She was encouraged by her pastor to use her experience to serve others and thus, Don’t Go Alone was created.
Throughout their 8 years, they have seen the lives of countless young adults change through these relationships. They have seen new families created and young adults receive support in everything from changing a flat tire to being their family at their military graduation.
I am beyond excited to implement Don’t Go Alone here in Virginia. My heart and passion is for youth aging out and I truly believe that everyone has potential to be successful. They just need someone to believe in them and walk with them. Several years ago we welcomed our two sons into our home, both of whom had aged out of the system. We have seen firsthand the power of relationship and how it can alter the course of someone’s future. As my son recently stated, “Family is what makes the difference between surviving and thriving.”
Virginia currently has the highest number of youth aging out of any state in the country. This is an opportunity for us to step up and impact the lives of these youth in a powerful way – our state desperately needs it.
Through the DGA program, we hope to see these young adults connected to family and make the change from surviving to thriving.
Margaret Hoffer is the Director for the Don’t Go Alone program. Her journey in supporting vulnerable families began in 2009 when one of her first-grade students came into care. Margaret and her husband were asked to be a weekend placement for the student and her two younger sisters. Eleven years later, Margaret and her husband are the VERY proud parents of those three amazing girls, now 18, 16 and 12. They’ve also welcomed two sons into their home as well, both of whom have aged out of the system.